Shaky Hands; Weak Knees
The medical test results came back confusing. Baffled doctors are not what you want when they are talking about your body. More tests; then waiting. Putting one foot in front of the other, trying to get on with Christmas cheer and preparations. Waiting is the hardest place to be. When you get bad news your world goes dark, your focus drifts to the negative and it’s as if you are having an out of body experience. This was my experience this past week.
When you have times like these do you doubt that God is with you? It’s certainly easy to. For me, it has been a week of having to continually decide to choose faith over fear. I know what God has said. I know He is with me and will never leave me (Isaiah 41:10), but fear continually tries to sneak back in like early dusk of an evening in mid-winter, I realized that I was having to make a conscious choice; let fear consume me and rob me of the joy of this season, OR choose faith in the One who is faithful? By choosing faith, I have been able to push fear out of the driver’s seat on this journey.
First day I woke up with this prayer on my lips.
Heavenly Father, This is the day you have ordained for me. Whatever I must walk through I know you will give my spirit peace, allow me to draw from your strength and will hold my hand, for you are with me. Thank you! Today I choose faith over fear. Amen.
Yesterday, God brought me across this scripture:
Strengthen the weak hands, steady knees that give way. Say to those with a anxious heart, Be strong; fear not!. . .
How comforting to know our Heavenly Father pays attention to details like knowing my hands get weak; my knees buckle; my heart becomes anxious. He has promised to be with me and uphold me with his righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10) I believe He even caused me to read that particular verse on that specific day!
He sees yours too! He is with you too! He is interested in every detail of your life too! Isn’t it amazing that the God who created the universe and all that is in it, cares about the little details of our lives?
A few more tests to go, but the last news was good. I continue to pray my prayer every day, surrendering what I want to the will of the Lord.
At this time of year, I can’t help but think of Mary, the mother of Jesus. I imagine her hands were more than a little weak, her knees buckled under her and her heart was extremely afraid as she heard from the angel that Messiah was to be born in her. She chose faith saying, ” I am willing to be used of the Lord. Let it happen to me as you have said.” (Luke 1:37)
Help me, Father, to trust you always. You are who you say you are. Your righteous right hand upholds me. You are faithful! May I keep my eyes on you and allow you to do with me as you have planned. As you have displayed Your glory through Mary, will You do the same with me. Thank you for paying attention to every detail in my life; my shaky hands, weak knees and fearful heart. I believe you are involved in and care about my daily life. I am willing to be used of the Lord. Let it happen to me as you have planned. Amen